Wrote this a couple of weeks ago...wasn't gonna publish it but hey, gotta keep letting stuff out...so here are some more "thoughts from my head"
Soooooooo...if you know me then you know that when I fall, I fall WAY too hard in love...I jump in with all I have and give all of myself no matter what the cost...part of me wishes I didn't care so much and didn't put soooo much into my relationship and the person I am with but then the other part of me is proud of how I am...I mean if I found the RIGHT person to fall in love with then me giving my all in the relationship wouldn't be a bad thing at all, WOULD IT? Life really trips me out...I was supposed to be married and have at least two kids by now...when I was younger I thought I would be married by 21 have my first child at 23 and then keep going from there...BOY WAS I WRONG...here I am at 28yrs old and now SINGLE...it's funny because so many folks I know embrace that word and wear it like a badge of honor...me, I kind of look at it as a curse...I like being in a relationship...it feels good waking up next to someone in the morning, cooking and planning meals out, just the normal day to day stuff...that's what I miss...I have to learn how to be alone all over again and that's weird...it's all about me and what I WANT to do and I'm just not use to that...DOES THAT SOUND CRAZY? Even knowing something is not right for me and that there is probably something a WHOLE lot better out in the world...SOMEWHERE...lol...I still am hesitant to just let go...it's like a bad habbit...it's been a part of my life for so long being without it feels WRONG...I have to keep catching myself...I see something funny and I want to make that phone call and share my experience, something makes me mad and there I am again getting ready to send a quick text...I truly HATE this!!!! Then to make things worse the other end of the relationship isn't letting go so easy either...THIS IS HARD!!!!
Wrote this a couple of weeks ago...wasn't gonna publish it but hey, gotta keep letting stuff out...so here are some more "thoughts from my head"
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